Have you ever thought why some people are successful at whatever they do, be it professionally or in the personal sphere? What is that they have to keep them progressing and moving ahead in life leaving everyone else behind? Be it your boss, the rich owner of a sports car, the big business tycoon with quarter after quarter of profits, the gold wining athlete, the supermodel on the ramp, your colleague who is promoted up the hierarchy, the famous artist, the prolific writer who goes big, the doctor with a successful private practice or the graduate student with high scores. Wherever you look around, you will find such examples from every walk of life. It doesn't stop at just the big achievements in life, but permeates much deeper into our daily lives. Have you ever thought why your lawn looks shabby compared to your neighbours manicured lawn with trimmed hedges and flower beds? Why you still drive the pinto when your friends have graduated to the luxury Sedan?
Your first reaction to such questions would be something like:- heck I still don't earn enough to get myself my dream Sedan and my neighbour has more time at hand to keep his stuff clean. So, you satisfy yourself with the self-comforting thought that you don't have time and think about your financial handicap which keeps you from progressing in life. You carry on with your self-styled life where you go to work, expecting a salary hike 6 months down the line, cower down in front of your boss because you really need that hike and let your life get into that loop where you have been so good at supressing your inner-self against the external stimulus which actually helps it grow and make you successful. This inner-self is your ego and your self-comforting thoughts are the defence mechanism against anything which pricks your ego. With this defence mechanism you are effectively killing your real you and the potential to be as successful as you please.
Big Bad Ego ... or Is it?Here is the real scoop why your Big Ego is bad ... for your boss :). Consider this situation at work. Your boss asks you to do some task. According to you something else would solve it in a better way. You are the one in the driver's seat and working on the problem for a long time. Therefore, you can better judge and take a decision. But what do you do? Well, your brain resolves this pressure situation and gives you 2 choices. Confront your boss and tell him to buzz-off (politely) because you can solve it in a better way or you can accept what your boss says. The second choice is easier to swallow because you don't have to confront your boss and it brings you a step closer to your pay raise. What you don't realise is that subconciously you are suppressing your ego with this defence mechanism. But this craddle is so comfortable that you never want to walk. In other words you never want to boost your ego to break the barrier and go achieve something bigger. Part of the problem is fear. You fear confronting your superior (your boss) because you might loose the pay hike or the job itself.
Let's analyze what would have happened if you did actually confront your boss. Effectively what you are going to tell your boss is that "I am the One" who decides how to solve this problem. Once you do this, the ball now goes back to your boss and she has to take a decision whether to accept your offer or reject it. This is where your egos clash. If your boss accepts your offer and assuming you did your job well, then your ego will get a boost. What about the boss's ego? Well, nothing really. The catch is, such situations don't happen everytime your boss asks you to do something. If that was the case, her position would be redundant and everyone would do whatever they felt like. But there is a flip side to this. This ego boost makes you a wee bit stronger against your superior in the future. In fact, such small ego boosts actually can make you so strong that you would be able to take your own decisions and break the corporate barriers and go solo start a company or something.
Grow a Big EgoTake a look at all the iconinc winner examples at the start of this article. The one thing common with all is they don't have bosses. They have competition and superiors, but not bosses. And their only risk in losing is nothing more than a failure in life. Its not their job or the pay hike. Successful people make smart decisions everyday throughout their lives. They never like to play at par but settle only for "Advantage Moi". They have a really "Big Ego" which fuels their success. This kind of ego does not grow overnight. It is conditioned into becoming what it is. Its made to face "ego clashes" everyday and win over them.
Take the example of a tennis player. Every gamepoint, setpoint and matchpoint win inflates the ego and confidence of the player which also translates to her winning the championship. Its just like hitting the ball back at your boss. The difference here is that its a tennis ball and the boss is the opponent.
People with big egos are big achievers and they know that they want. Taking yourself higher is really in your hands and how you mould your ego. Try facing the world bravely and give your ego a boost.
